|
 Have you ever thought about why a warm relationship between a man and a woman, husband and wife sometimes begin to take strange forms? Because of what in time quiet conversations sometimes turn into permanent showdown that resemble the test on the battlefield and clearly tiring?
Perhaps the problem lies in the fact that we have different assess its role in the relationship, and subconsciously seek to impose on someone your own version of "ideal couple"? In that case, I suggest just take a look over his eyes.
Typology of male characters
According to psychological research, psychology of relationships and roles, men can be divided into three types:
- "Father";
- "Lover";
- "Son".
Thus one can not say which one is better. After all, the choice of a friend or partner in life depends primarily on the nature of women. We are all different - one wants to see a loved one "caring father" who will take a leadership role in the relationship will always be able to help and protect us from adversity.
 For some of us, on the contrary, it is important to see a number of the man next to whom you can feel confident "mother" and take responsibility for all actions and decisions. But most of us, probably tends to have been in a relationship just equality.
 However, before you accuse someone close to the unfair treatment to you, that he does not understand you, I suggest to try to figure out what he wants to see in your face and see the moves a peaceful solution, the distribution of responsibilities.
The first variant. He needed not just a wife or girlfriend, and "second mother"
He always advised to what it is best to wear a suit to a business meeting or a walk on a football match with friends. In the morning he can not pick up and tie a tie without you. He is ready to wait for hours, as long as you buy food and cook dinner, and frankly admits he does not know how to choose ingredients for salads and frying eggs.
 This is - a rough description of the conditional "son" who need to close was caring "mother". We can not say that this type of character is uniquely bad. Perhaps such a man is not adapted to the realities of modern life, but nowadays there is definitely a woman who happily agreed to play a dominant role and decide all questions. After all, we sometimes feel so like his own greatness and power, is not it?
But what if you prefer equal unions, and you'll sometimes want to be someone taught? A loud reproach with the words "you yourself can not do nothing," uttered in fatigued after a busy day, as we know, can have unpredictable effects. In fact, after a few phrases of your loved one unconsciously begins to feel incapable of anything against the backdrop of a confident and determined girl, and (as is often the case) will begin secretly dream of another, tender and romantic friend (or stranger).
 Solution
Perhaps we should just explain to him that you can not deal with everything myself, and assign responsibilities. Rather, lyubovnik- "son" with pleasure will take on the powers that you put it on. After going through a series of trial and error over time it will become more responsible and independent. The only way you can affect the nature of man, and even make him more confident.
 Option Two. My favorite girl for him - the one over which he has authority
Such a man is constantly interested in, whether you are ready to set off, whether you decide important issues with the authorities. He is concerned about your health condition and he would not allow you to permanently stay at work late or sit at the computer. At the same time it controls your time and himself takes the part of household responsibilities, so that you all could make it.
 Of course, life with such a person has a number of advantages. You can always be sure that the house you will have to wait for a warm dinner and not have to worry whether all the bills are paid. However, this version of the distribution of roles and not all satisfied.
 For example, a successful business lady, on whose shoulders the responsibility for the state of the whole company, it may seem strange and unusual that someone decides for them almost all the domestic issues and monitors their steps. And for those who seek independence and equality, this attitude may seem intrusive.
 Solution
Change a man who is a born leader, of course, difficult. And sometimes it seems that it is much easier to simply say "I can not go ... let's be friends" and so on.. But do not jump to conclusions - for who but he will make you feel free, just relax and a break from the hustle and bustle in the walls of his home.
And to get rid of overprotection, possibly enough sometimes just to talk to him with a smile: "I'm sorry, I want to spend the evening with friends, you let me go? ". At 90%, he will say something like, "Can I hold you? ". After all, when a man realizes that it is important, it is important for his decision - he had no reason to try to show power.
 Option Three. Are you for it - a friend
This is the perfect type of relationship in which there is a clear differentiation of roles. After all, we are pleased when we met a man from work, show signs of respect and at the same time listen to our opinion, come to us for advice.
Next to such a man, and the typical "mother", and the girl who wants to see the "daddy" in the face of a loved one will be able to feel confident. In families with this type of relationship is often no serious problems. But if you still feel some frustration - you want to have more power or, conversely, to "be in subjection" - do not go too far and go for a radical change (command "force" him to become more determined). After all, trying to alter the nature of a loved one, you can disrupt the idyll perfect.
 In any case, it is worth remembering that this classification - conventional. The man who yesterday wanted to see care of you, tomorrow will probably be confident macho, and you can not get it, and vice versa - have a confident and determined men suddenly may need a while to feel like a child.
 Whatever the circumstances - are aiming to put yourself in his place before completely sever relations. Judge, what you most want in a relationship? That you valued, respected and accepted for who you are? Believe me, men have basically the same system of values, and they are not required to conform to our ideals.
Perhaps the number of divorces in families and relationships in pairs breaks sharply reduced when everyone will understand this simple truth.
|
|
|
|
|
|
