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 We often talk to your child these phrases, each time making the same mistake. We took the phrase from the lexicon of their mothers, educators, teachers ... everyone always seems to them talk and talk. But is it worth repeating them without thinking? Maybe we should make an effort, and break this vicious circle. Then your children will no longer reflect these unnecessary and harmful expressions.
Here is a small selection of phrases that better not to speak to children:
1. "What is the matter with you? "
This type of issue will push the child to self-incrimination. It sounds like a hint of what a child is not so, is doing something wrong. Imagine how you feel when you ask this question. It is at least baffled, and then just a wave of growing doubts about their own normality.
2. "Do ... I said! "" Because I said "
, and so on. You have to be very patient, so that from time to time to explain in detail to the child that you are asking to do. This, of course, can ruffle. But this should be done. Otherwise, if you go on the road, "I said, and it is not necessary to discuss it" awaits you with its own child separation, moreover, you can sow in the child-mother image of the tyrant and the man who does not care about the feelings of others.
3. "Why can not you behave like a brother (sister)? "
No doubt such kind of innocent comments undermine the faith of the little man himself. At the same time, unleash unhealthy competition between brothers and sisters. Every child is different, like we all know, but like the phrase "cletayut" tongue and cause a lot of damage to your relationship.
4. "Why can not you do it? It's that simple! "
These estimates also do not lead to good. All children have different abilities, different paces of development. In addition, this phrase gives the child understand that he is no matter what is not capable. Hear this from the loved one is not very nice. All you have to need - support, patience and acceptance. Estimates of "just" or is "easy" to do is unnecessary for the child to inhibit it.
5. "I know better," "I'm right, because I am a mother"
Terrible phrase. The child lives with you, he sees you in person, my mother, a woman. Living person who sometimes makes mistakes, but finds a way out. You should not always be right in front of the child. It deprives him of the future flexibility of their behavior.
6. "And if everyone would jump off a bridge, you too will be? "
Do you think that's a good argument, but for a child it is - a direct guide to action, among other things. If your child says, "Yes, everything is gone, and I went," or something like that, it is often almost does not mean anything. We should not blame him for saying. Our task - to explain what a bad thing, but he is not.
7. "Your father ..."
No need to call her husband and father as a child. Children will feel immediately that something is wrong between parents. And it hurts them hurts. "Your father always late" or "Your dad will come late today" - a kind of suspension. Step on himself, which would not have had a relationship with her husband, just to be saying "daddy", but rather "our father."
Author: Julia Gnedina
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